School feels like climbing a mountain, it’s easy at first, ridiculously easy. You fly through it. But now it feels like I’m climbing a vertical cliff, my arms and legs are tired, it’s like moving through treacle and I’m exhausted. But I can’t stop, I have to keep going.

I can’t look down, and I can’t make a mistake, I can’t fall because there’s no -one there to catch me

I’m feeling so shit right now, my chest is aching with pain and guilt and anger and fear and…

For anyone reading this to understand, I think you’re going to have to know a bit about me.

Up until about a year and a half ago, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. University seemed miles off, I have always adored books, writing, characters and acting. And eventually I realised that I seriously loved films, I didn’t just see a film, I experienced it.

And I don’t like when things are shit or half-arsed. I don’t-can’t do things half-arsed.

I love acting, performing, playing around in the rehearsal space and on stage. Sitting in the audience create a massive longing to be behind the scenes, I feel it, like a sword sliding down my sternum and into my heart.

So when it came to it, I wanted to apply for Drama School and Film Courses. But over the last few days I have realised, what the hell do I know about film? Why the fuck should I being doing a degree in film?

So maybe I have chosen the complete wrong thing to do with my life. But thinking over the other options that there are, and I don’t want to do anything else.

Either I want to work in the film industry, or I want to be an author, or both.
Other than that I have no idea

Up until now I truly beloved that I would find my path, but right now I feel completely hopeless and I don’t know who to ask or what to do.
I need some help, but I don’t know who to ask, so putting it on my tumblr seemed like a place to start

help university advice dipdieddreams


"I’m telling you," Isaac continued, “Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production. And he was vain: I do not believe I have ever met a more physically attractive person who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness.”

(via halestilinski)

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